The Value In Losing
It is easy to forget that being competitive is part of human nature. Since humanity emerged on this planet, we have competed for everything.
The world competes over limited resource. We compete to win love from one another. We even compete to see who can come up with the best ideas for new innovations.
a good thing
Competition means learning the value in losing and winning
As a father, I know that competition helps to stimulate a child to become more creative. It allows a child to learn about the real world, and that competition is part of our daily life. It can help a child to work on goals and find solutions to problems. I think competition is something that every child needs to learn about.
As a parent, we need to remember that childhood is not only about being competitive, but it is about learning to enjoy life. I am determined I am not going to become one of “those” parents that place so much pressure on my son about winning that he forgets that childhood is about having fun.
A fine line
A friend invited us to cheer on her 11 year-old son at a basketball games this week. It is something that I knew our 4 year-old would like, so we easily decided to attend. While we were at the elementary school basketball game, one thing stood out of the crowd.
There was a father sitting in the stand yelling at his son on the court. He yelled at his little boy, he yelled at the referee and the coach. I feel confident that they all could hear the dad yelling, “You missed again! (cursing) Don’t miss again” or “Get it right next time (add a superlative here with the child’s name)!“
Now as an adult, I can ignore the words. I know they are just words. They are negative phrases that “tend” to hurt even when said in proper context.
If I were the coach or the referee, I would not hear the dad yelling at me from the stands. I would drown out the dads negative comments. However, as an 11 year-old little boy, I would not be able to drown out my father’s voice.
If I were the 11 year-old little boy, I would hear my father’s voice in the crowd. I would listen while he told me that I was not good enough and that I was incompetent. They would be words I would take into adulthood.
Preparing for battle means you can lose.
I think there is truth in this question. People are competitive. I think, the way adults behave towards competition is a direct result of what they learn in childhood. Our parents are the first real motivators over the way we behave towards competition.
If a parent is yelling the phrase, “Don’t miss again!” it sounds as if you are giving an ultimatum to a child.
A better phrase would be, “Good try. You can make it next time.” it shows you are caring about a child and realize they are trying their best.
Winning is a crucial part of life. We should teach our children to become winners. There is nothing wrong with wanting our children to become successful. I do have a problem when we teach our children that winning is all we can ever do in life.
I want my son to become a winner, but I also want him to understand that losing is important too. Losing is as much a part of life as winning. Losing can give us valuable life lessons.
3 Things Losing Teaches
1. Losing teaches a person to appreciate the successes in life. If we never lost at anything, winning would become dull and unexciting.
2. Losing teaches good sportsmanship. It allows a child to believe that others can do a better job than them. It teaches them to become good losers, as well as winners.
3. Losing teaches a child to accept disappointments in life. It can give them the importance of trying harder at the things they do.
One of the responsibilities of parenthood is to teach our children that winning isn’t everything. We are going to lose sometimes. We can not always succeed at everything we do. We will become the most successful in life when we understand the value in losing gracefully.
I know when my son starts competing I will cheer for him. I will also remember that I can not keep him from all of life’s disappointments. I do not want to become the parent that makes him feel as if he has disappointed me because he did not win.
How do you feel about children competing? Do you think they should learn to lose as easily as win? Have you ever seen a parent act badly towards children at a sporting event? Tell me more in the comments!
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Tags: basketball game
, human nature
, negative phrases
, new innovations
, real world
, school basketball