Substance Abuse and Families
As I began writing this post, I planned on discussing the effects of substance abuse and families. The topic is an extremely personal one to me, and I can not discuss the subject without becoming somewhat personal. One of the reason’s I decided to become a social worker was because of the effects substance abuse has on families.
Family Matters
There is light at the end of the tunnel with substance abuse.
I have never been overly fond of the term “recovering alcoholic”, but in my opinion, it is one of the few ways that accurately describes my life. I am a recovering alcoholic. I am not ashamed to say I am an alcoholic. The only shame I could have is not to accept it to myself and to the people around me. I have worked hard to make amends to the people in my life that I have wronged (the ones that would believe it).
I will not go into a full detailed description of my life, but I will add the first drink I ever took was when I was around 10 years-old. As I look back on my life, I could blame many people for the causes of my drinking, but there is no truth in it. Everyone needs to learn to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. The problem I have had with alcohol was not the bottle of alcohol but myself. I did not know when to stop, how to stop or want to stop drinking. It was always all about me.
Substance Abuse and Cost
Substance abuse is one of the greatest social costs that any family will ever experience. Drug abuse and alcoholism cost families; e.g., time, energy and resources.
1. Time - Families waste time with substance abuse. They can waste weeks, months and years that could have become more productive in building bonds with their family. They can lose productivity at work while worrying about other family members (costing possible promotions and career benefits).
2. Energy - When we talk about people, energy is the vitality we use for ongoing activities. Families can lose the sense of continuous vitality when substance abuse is present. We begin to put all the energy we have into “fixing” the problem (not realizing the problem has no easy solution).
3. Resources - Substance abuse cost families money. Families can use large amounts of money trying to “fix” family members that have a substance abuse problems. It is easy to spend money on critical health issues, rehabilitation and legal issues. Money that families spend on substance abuse could be used towards planning for the future (family members and personal) instead of substance abuse.
Monitoring the Future has kept trends of graduating seniors and substance abuse since 1975. Beginning in 1991 they also began including samples of 8th and 10th graders (I am only including the trends of seniors for this article).
Marijuana
- One in fifteen high school seniors smoke marijuana regularly
- 23% of high school seniors have smoked marijuana in the past month
- 36% of high school seniors have smoked marijuana in the past year
Alcohol
- In the past 30 days 41.5% of high school seniors report they have used alcohol
Times have changed but, the lessons I have learned have not. Children today still face pressures that many parents either ignore or gloss over, e.g, peer pressure, social standing and family. Drugs and alcohol are still prevalent during adolescence. Parents face the challenge of trying to decipher if their child is using drugs or alcohol.
There are some signs that can help any parent in knowing if drugs or alcohol might be an issue:
Signs of Substance Abuse in Teens
1. Grades – Change in academic performance with no explanation.
2. Friends – Abandoning their old friends for a new group of friends
3. Activities – Loss of interest in activities they once found enjoyable
4. Mood Swings – Unexplained mood swing (other than the typical hormonal swings associated with teenagers)
One of the hardest things any parent can discover is that their child has a substance abuse problem. Fortunately if a parent discovers that their child has a substance abuse problem there are many ways to seek help.
1. Drugfree.org
Toll-free helpline – Monday to Friday, 10:00 am – 6:00 pm ET
1-855-DRUGFREE (1-855-378-4373)
2. NIDA for Teens
Toll-free helpline
1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357)
3. Project Know Understanding Addiction
Toll-free helpline
1-800-928-9139
Substance abuse is something that a parent does not want to deal with. Have you ever had to deal with substance abuse in your family? Were you able to find solutions to the problem or is it ongoing? Were you able to find support for yourself and your family? Tell me in the comments!!!
You can read my last post here: Birthdays Mean A Child Gets Older : If you like this post you can follow me on twitter @dadblunders or on my facebook fan page, Dadblunders.
Bruce Sallan is discussing addiction and teens on #dadchat this week (twitter) Teen Drug Abuse and Entitlement Join us Thursday, January 31 from 6:00 – 7:00 p.m. PT/9:00 – 10:00 p.m. ET for #dadchat on twitter!
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Tags: drugs and alcohol and youth, help with drugs and alcohol
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Thanks for including my post in your related articles.
This is a very informative and thoughtful post on substance abuse. I do not think many would have the ability to be as honest as you have been. You’ve also taken the time to include some excellent resources for help. Excellent blog post!
Thank you,
I saw your article and knew it was one that needed to be included as links for mine. As I stated, this is a very personal issue to me and I don’t take it or treat it lightly. I have made many mistakes in my life and all I can do now is go forward, continuing to do the greater good and never hide the past and who I was. It was only because of my past that I am now the man I have become.
Aaron Brinker aka DadBlunders
This is one of the most honest, helpful, and touching post I have read to date. I am a ‘recovering addict’. I also am raising two beautiful daughters that are still in elementary school. Through the help of N.A. meetings in my area, (Southwest Virginia), Community Service Programs, and a wonderful psychologist, I have maintained sobriety for a little over 2 1/2 years. Thank you so much for sharing this!! If I ever decide to include addiction in one of my post, I hope you wouldn’t mind if I shared this post.
Donetta,
Congratulations on 2 1/2 years!
I know for me it’s a better feeling facing the world head on without blinders or a crutch. There are times it can be hard but I always think about my past and I have no desire to repeat some of those events. My 4 year-old son thinks of me as his hero. I truly enjoy that feeling and want to keep it for as long as possible.
I would be honored if you shared my post. All I ever ask is a link back to me saying you saw it here first. I have been considering writing a companion piece to this one with some more tips in a few weeks (It’s something I am working on anyway).
Thank you for sharing your story and for your comments,
Aaron Brinker aka Dad Blunders
We need more people like you willing to share their stories. By the time I see see folks their lives and health are at rock bottom. No where else to go but up…thank you.
Kathy,
Thank you so much!
All of my internships in social work were completed in adolescence substance abuse. It is a very personal subject to me and I find no shame in discussing it. I am now a stay-at-home dad that enjoys being the hero my four year-old son “thinks” I am.
I have learned a lot in my life and discovered that we will always have challenges. We just have to make a choice to decide we want to do better and be better (and I have made that choice).
My tagline for my site explains my philosophy a nut shell, “All of us have made some real blunders in life….its what we do with them that counts!”
Aaron Brinker aka DadBlunders
Aaron, my dad is also a recovering alcoholic. I learned through him that there is more than one kind of addict. He didn’t have to drink all the time, but when he did, he just couldn’t stop, and would literally drink himself to the point of puking while passed out. More than once he almost died by choking on his own alcohol-induced vomit. Lucky for me and my sis, we rarely saw our dad that way, as he finally came to terms with the fact that he needed to just NOT have that first drink; he reached the decision to go dry before we even hit high school. That was well over twenty years ago now, and he hasn’t had a drink since. I’m proud and relieved that he was able to face the problem head-on; I know there are so many others unable to do so without lots of outside assistance. Kudos to you, my friend, for not only making smart choices, but for being brave enough to share those choices with the rest of us. What an inspiration!
Andi-Roo,
Thank you for saying that my friend! I don’t feel like an inspiration, but I know to many people because I will talk about these things, I am. Personally, I think I am a man that did a whole a bunch of screw-ups in his life that is damn lucky to be here today. One truth I can tell you…I learned an awful lot of life lessons along the way. They have served me well and continue to serve me well. They have helped me to grow into the man I am today. They have made the hero I am in my son’s eyes. I would not want to change a thing about my life because if I did things would not be the same and I would not be where I am today and I certainly wouldn’t have my son.
Aaron Brinker aka DadBlunders
Well, gosh, I am an alcoholic. The daughter and grand-daughter of an alcoholic. My father was an alcoholic and a truly wonderful man. He was a “maintenance drinker,” and drank all the time. My mother was co-dependent and it is she, who made my life and absolute living hell until I finally left home for good at the very minute I turned 18. I had run away, we had physical fights, I had a horrible childhood. Things became different later on, but I pretty much followed in my father’s footsteps. I too, became a “maintainer.”
My father stayed in the marriage until I left; he was protecting me from my mother. Ironically, my mother left him, after I left. He remarried and continued to drink. He died in his sleep at age 59. He knew me; he had raised me; brought me home from the hospital. He was stay-at-home dad. I went through a series of marriages and relationships, that were increasingly more chaotic and dangerous, all while working at 2 different careers. I finally hit bottom after a brawl that left me with a smashed up right hand and bruises over the entire left side of my body. A 2 month hospitalization was to follow. Briefly put, I had been a drinker while in college, stopped for 14 years, then was married to someone who didn’t believe me when I said I was an alcoholic, so I proved him wrong. Yeah, I was that stupid.
Going to the Homeless shelter was the best thing that ever happened to me. In spite of the hellacious beating I’ve taken (and given) this is not the actual cause of my Parkinsonism. It’s familial, I’ve learned. Aside from that, I’m blessed. I’m in a real position to help people; to do things for people that are extraordinary. I would never, in a million years have had this perspective in my other life. I would never have met you, or Andi-Roo, or any of the other wonderful people around here. Great post. Drug addiction is a bane. Alcoholism is a disease, but it’s not fatal. Help is there. All my bipolar, Asperger weird can help. I have that kind of groundedness to see that now.
Mary,
Thank you for your sharing your story.
You are right alcoholism is a disease. It isn’t the end of the world and each of us as to make the decision to turn or lives around. It isn’t easy and at the time it can be the hardest decision we will ever make in our entire lives (but trust me it’s the best one we will ever make as you well know).
I have told this to many people and I will continue to shout it from the rooftops for as long as I live “every little thing that has happened to me as brought me to this moment in time…and I sure as hell wouldn’t have changed one thing because it has made the man I am today. I am damn proud myself.”
God bless you friend,
Aaron Brinker aka DadBlunders
Hi Aaron, Wow, what a powerful, well written post. Your bravery, not just with what you have overcome, but also with your honesty about your struggles, is truly commendable.
You’re right, we all make mistakes but the distinguishing factor is what we do about those mistakes. So many people deny that they even have a problem, much less face the problem head on.
You are setting a wonderful example for your son, showing him the power of healing and learning.
Thank you for providing guidance to others so they can have the resources to overcome their challenges as well and recognize the signs of addiction in loved ones.
Thank you very much for sharing your personal story with us, Aaron.
Carolyn,
Thank you. It is a very personal issue to me. I will never it treat it lightly. I know I am fortunate because I was able to recognize things needed to change. Many people either can not do that or do not want to do that. One of the hardest challenges we will ever face, is ourselves in the mirror. We can be our own toughest critic.
I have a different outlook on life than many people. I know I am fortunate to be here everyday. I know that it is only by gods mercy or one huge stroke of luck that I am even able to write this post. I “try” not to waste a moment of it. Yes, I still can have my down time (like recently….but I knew that I had to pull myself out of it and I did)
We only get one shot at this life and I plan on seeing it through to the very end.
Aaron Brinker aka DadBlunders