Stereotypes – Good or Bad?
Stereotypes Persist
Family time is the best time!
It is easy to stereotype a person or a place based on the feelings of others, the past or a personal bias. In my opinion, when a person jumps to conclusions without knowing any facts (or without knowing someone) they are showing intolerance for others. As a father, I want my son to learn acceptance of others and that stereotypes are not the best way to pass judgement.
It is easy to make fun of the South. Many people know me as Dad Blunders and think of me as the cowboy boot, cowboy hat, good ole’ boy dad. If I stated that it bothered me that others thought of me in such a stereotypical way, would it matter? I have a feeling it would not change the perception of many people and a basic stereotype would continue.
Luckily, it does not bother me about what other people think about me. I live less than thirty miles from Texas and spent a large part of my youth in Texas (there is nothing wrong with being a good ole’ boy)! Being born in Arkansas (can we say Deliverance??? yes…that is a stereotype) and raised in S.W. Oklahoma gives me some perspective on some of the stereotypes my son is facing in his future.
Stereotypes are endless, and many people think that Southerners talk funny. In my opinion, I think everyone around me sounds normal. In fact, I love the “shock factor” I can give others when they hear me speak (southerners excluded).
(1.) Howdy ya’ll - I actually say this phrase, but I also know how to say, “Hello everyone.” It just more comfortable, and pertinent to use, “howdy” and the word, “ya’ll” is the catch-all phrase for everyone.
(2.) All ya’ll, I got an awfully good idear! – I love the word idea but the word “idea” is not as effective as saying “idear” (at least in my world). It allows others to know that I am intelligent and I “might” even have a college degree. Just in case you missed the translation the phrase means, “Everyone, I have a very good idea!“
(3.) Dinner – I enjoy a good meal. In fact, if you invited me to dinner I would arrive prominently at noon. After all, dinner is in the middle of the day and supper is what I look forward to every evening (growing up supper would have been around 5 o’clock).
(4.) Plumb give out – My grandmother (or granny) used this phrase while I was growing up. To this day I will occasionally say, “I am plumb give out.” or “I am plumb tuckered out.” (either way it conveys that I am very tired and need rest).
(5.) Hafta – Until I wrote this post I was unaware at how often I use the word “hafta“. The word “hafta” translates into “have to” or “must“. It is not uncommon for me to say the phrase, “I hafta do that right now.“
Stereotypes of the South
Doesn’t everyone swim with boots?
It always amuses me when someone places a stereotype on me without knowing me. I have the ability to turn on and off my accent. Although it is far harder to turn off my accent when I am around a group of others all speaking Southern, such as at a family reunion.
When people put any stereotype on another person they are conveying the message, “I do not want to learn about you or your world.” As a parent, I believe the message we want children to learn is about tolerance and acceptance.
I know that I am unable to shelter my son from stereotypes and other people’s perception (hurtful at times), but I do have the ability to teach him by example. People might know me as Dad Blunders the cowboy hat, cowboy boot, good ole’ boy dad, but my son knows me as the man who tries very hard not to judge others.
Stereotypes are hurtful and painful to many people. I spoke about myself and a few generalities about my speech and Southern stereotypes. It is not uncommon for people to say that Southerners are uneducated and NASCAR freaks (Yes, I do like NASCAR). Everyone knows there are many other stereotypes. How does your family deal with stereotypes? Do you agree with stereotyping people and places? If you have believed in stereotypes in the past, have you ever been proven wrong? How did you handle the situation? Tell me in the comments!!
You can read my latest post here Reasons Men Don’t Give Birth If you like this post you can follow me on my twitter @dadblunders or on my facebook fan page, Dadblunders.
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Tags: southerners and cowboy boots, stereotypes are hurtful, teaching tolerance
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I suspect it’s much easier to generalise and stereotype if you don’t know or visit an area. Once you’ve been there it becomes harder as you actually notice differences. Often stereotypes are born from characters on TV shows where they’ve been exaggerated out of all proportion but there’s usually no harm meant in it . There are occasions when that generalisation can be very divisive for instance on UK TV the person who comes from Liverpool is usually shown as an out and out thief or as a loveable rogue. There’s no ground for showing ‘Scousers’ as they’re called as normal people living fairly normal lives like the rest of us. That makes people very wary in their presence especially as they have a very distinctive accent.
By teaching your wonderful son not to make generalisations or listen to stereotypes you’ll help bring down some of the barriers that separate groups and teach him to enjoy the differences between them.
David,
Stereotypes are so prevalent in today’s society. I agree, I believe that mass media has helped perpetuate the problem. Just like the perception that men can’t become stay-at-home parents (television definitely shows that men are nothing more than a bumbling idiot when it comes to a child).
As I noted, I can turn on or off my accent and it always amuses me when I am around people that have never heard me speak that way before. I turn on the Southern charm and they are shocked….lol….(not that I am charming just the accent part…lol)
I tried to write the post in a way that showed stereotypes in a “somewhat” humorous light. My hope was that I could get others to discuss it more openly by keeping it lite and playful. Anyone that knows me knows, I also have a way with words that can keep most people on middle ground.
Aaron
You did, Aaron, in a very humorous way. Although I was born in Michigan, I’ve never considered myself a Northerner. Due to the fact that my parents were both Scots and they both had such a high regard for Southern authors. The first time I crossed the Mason-Dixon line however, I was 31 and I thought we should have a huge parade for the big event! All y’alls and ever’thing. I asked for directions in a little diner in Georgia. It took a map and 30 strangers, who became un-strangers. That’s how I prefer it.
Woefully, though, stereotypes exist and there’s damn little we can do, except “check ourselves at the door.” In other words, before jumping in with both feet, we need to ask if our first impression is correct, or are we blindly adhering to something that “everyone” says is so? I lived among Middle Easterners for years and unquestionably, these are some of the most hospitable, warmest and dearest people I’ve ever met. I had a couple of Iranians who lived across the hall from me in Ann Arbor, and they used to come over and ask me about some of the shows on TV. They were utterly confused about the 3 Stooges. I assured them that the 3 Stooges were a genuine laff riot! They kind of got it. They were wonderful neighbors.
Now, I’m living in a very poor neighborhood that can be quite dangerous. I know who to avoid and I know who’s okay. But, everyone gets a chance.
I don’t live in the states, so I didn’t realize that you were subject to this kind of stereotyping.
Not to detract from you, but I want to tell of a similar story from a friend I spoke to earlier.
She is Muslim, and a lovely person.
She’s very normal, has three kids, blah, blah, blah.
We were chatting about the Muslim image that is often portrayed in the media: the terrorists and suicide bombers.
Most Muslims don’t support that kind of behavior, but the media can’t report on the mom who drives her kids to school every day, feeds them when they get home, and tells them a story before bed.
I feel the Muslim community in general has had their image tarnished by the media.
Being subjected to some stereotyping Aaron, what do you think?
Daniel,
I believe everywhere and everyone is subjected to some form of stereotyping. It is is when we stop trying to become open-minded and learn about each other that we truly fail.
The media plays a large role in stereotyping. If people would take the time and learn about other cultures they would understand that as a whole they are taught about being peace. There faith based in peace not in hate. Sadly, a few individuals have tarnished their image and made life much harder for them as a whole (the media not helping of course).
Aaron
Quite true Aaron, quite true.
Aaron, what an awesome post! Yes, we do stereotype in this country, but it happens in all cultures. Why we feel the need to do so is beyond me, but I feel it is probably something very deeply rooted within our psyches and we’re hard-wired that way. Probably an evolutionary hold-over like flight or fight, although I’m way over-simplifying the us vs. them. Great post, though as always!
Mary,
Thanks! I actually thought I hit a “home run” with this particular post. I was able to keep it lite and playful with some humor and convey a deep message about stereotyping. I know that stereotyping is not going to end anytime soon but there is no harm in reminding others that stereotyping is hurtful and painful to many people.
Aaron
I think if I were a dad, at some point I’d just have a very frank discussion with my son and just be up front about the typical things people say about “our kind.” If he’s aware of it, it won’t make it any less hurtful, but at least he might be a bit less surprised if he encounters it. I’d think it might make him think, too, about how HE might be thinking of others in similar ways.
The funny thing about stereotypes is that they’re not only wrong in general, they’re even wrong among people of the same group. I’ve spent my life in the south, and to me, “dinner” IS “supper.” I call lunch “lunch.” And while I say “y’all” in certain company, I rarely say things like “howdy,” unless I’m joking around.
What surprised me most is that I’ve actually had people FROM the south ask where I’m REALLY from after assuming that I “talk too well” to be from the South. What does that even mean?!? Is there actually an expectation that if you don’t sound like one of the Beverly Hillbillies, you can’t truly be a Southerner?
Patrick,
Stereotypes are never good! I know when I was a social worker full-time, I would hear so many different kinds of stereotypes or biases that people had. I would try to politely remind them that what we do openly is what our children learn. They learn by example and the first real role models for any child is their parents.
I have never met a child that was born with prejudices, they learn them.
The south is a fickle beast. I have had people wonder where i am from because I have the capability of turning mine off and on. It generally just makes me laugh and throw in a little southern charm towards them then…..lol
Aaron Brinker
Hi Aaron
I don’t like stereotyping at all. I know some people that make a decision on the type of person you are in a second and this just isn’t possible.
When it comes to comes to stereotyping, the UK has lots of it. Between the English, Welsh, Scots and the Irish we have lots to stereotype each other about I’m sure.
Still, I’m English, my wife is Irish and my kids are Scottish so we’re breaking down the boundaries in my family!
Howdy Tim,
I have never like stereotyping but it is very prevalent in our society. I believe, the only way to change it is by talking about it and reminding people it’s not okay.
My family is related to Mary Queen of Scots. In fact, we have a large from history based in Scotland (including a castle ruins still there). My dream is to someday go see it.
Aaron Brinker