Reasons Men Don’t Give Birth
Labor of Love???
One of the wonders of pregnancy (besides the end game) is the ability to share it with others. Women and men take immense pride in telling other people that they are going to have a child. When celebrating the birth of a child men can pass out cigars and women can have baby showers.
When my wife was giving birth to our son, I was empathetic. I shared her pain through holding her hand. I could feel her fingers tighten around my hand during a contraction and loosen at the end of one. I would offer her ice chips and stroke her hair to help ease the pain. The best way to help during the labor was me just being there for my wife.
Two Dutch men, Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno of the show “Guinea Pigs,” decided that they needed to “empathize with women and what they felt during labor (see. Men Suffer Pregnancy Pain in Labor Simulation). To stimulate labor, the two men had electrodes placed on their abdomens for two hours. As time passed, they simulated the contractions getting stronger and closer together.
After, I heard about these men “simulating” labor it made me wonder what the world would be like if men gave birth. I think we would see some radical changes (if not the end game) for the species.
Men Giving Birth
1. Birth Control - Currently, society has limited birth control measures. There is a constant debate on the merits of using birth control. Sadly, I have a feeling if men were the ones to have children; birth control would become readily available and free (the only thing sad about this is how quickly it would change if roles were reversed….sigh).
2. New Laws - The laws would change quickly. It would become mandatory that a person would have a year off after having a baby without fear of losing their job (possibly more than a year)! The laws would also favor having the entire 9 months of the pregnancy as “paid time” off. It is not out of the realm of possibilities that we pass the “Don’t Touch Me” law.
3. Medical Advances - You would see medical research move towards shortening labor and trying to find ways to control the pain. It is possible that this medical research would take precedence over all other forms of research.
4. Population Control – Population control would become the standard. Having more than one child would be considered odd and out-of-place.
5. End Game - If men gave birth the future of our species could become endangered, I can only speak for myself, but I have no wish to give birth. I will admit; I am a wimp when it comes to long-lasting pain.
Helping a future mom to relax is important!
All men should strive towards being empathetic to any woman during pregnancy. I know the two Dutch men wanted to feel more sympathy, and I think if a man has ever watched a woman go through childbirth they see her plight. A man might not feel the pain of labor, but they can certainly appreciate the wonder and beauty of it.
It is not difficult for a man to become empathetic during their partners pregnancy. Just remember that she is carrying your baby for 9 months. The basic rule of thumb is when she says, “Jump” reply, “How high?” A man should not complain if their partner asks them to make a midnight run for ice cream, a back rub or sometimes have them yell for no clear reason (it is acceptable for her to say, “You did this to me!”)
Pregnancy is hard on women. They have the job of carrying life for 9 months. If any man wants to feel empathy they should begin by just saying, “I love you.“
It is hard to fathom any man going through a pregnancy. What do you think of the two Dutch men trying to simulate the birth experience? Do you think they actually felt anything close to a real labor and delivery? Tell me more in the comments!!
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Tags: learning empathy, men giving birth
12 Comments
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My ex is in the “Hell no!” camp on the idea of men giving birth. He was in the operating room when I had our son by c-section and the nurse forgot to tell him when it was time to leave. They had my belly cut open and uterus pulled out before he could turn away. That’s enough to convince anyone, male or female, that child birth is no walk in the park. The Dutch men may have experienced 2 hours of contractions, but they couldn’t experience everything we go through for 9 months or the actual birth process.
Thank you for sharing your tips for compassion. I hope some take it to heart.
Jacqueline,
I am in that camp! I have told my wife “thank you” and “I love you” more than once since our son was born. I am sure if men had to carry life for 9 months that we would “sadly” see some massive changes in the way society “can” treat women and childbirth (such as lack of paid long term maternity leave).
I totally agree with you about the two Dutch men wanting to sympathize. Two hours can’t even come close to what any woman goes through for the nine months she carries a life.
I shared tips that I truly believe many men need to be reminded about at times. I believe, if we can’t be good spouses, partners and significant others during any woman’s pregnancy then a lot of life is truly wasted. We want to teach our children to be kind and respectful and that should begin long before they are born….just my opinion of course.
Aaron
Count me out of volunteering to give birth. I think we might be one of those modern couples who prefer having a life to creating a life if it was me. Of couse since it isn’t me, I’m delighted my wife carried our daughter and hope the big bunch of flowers at the end showed it was appreciated.
David,
I am totally on board with NOT volunteering to give birth! I am almost positive that if men had to give birth the species would die out rather quickly! I have heard a lot of men complain about their partners during the pregnancy (they were too cranky or something else). My opinion on this matter is simple if you think you can do a better job then you carry life in you for 9 months that is literally “stealing” your body from you. No thank you….I am in the “I love you” category. I would much rather appreciate the wonder of life than to complain about it….just my two cents of course.
Aaron
Where is your sense of adventure?
I agree with your points about how the world would change if men gave birth. But I think you are underestimating the willingness of men to endure pain. I for one, would do it in a heartbeat. It’s my contention that men seek out endurance sports, adventure, and intense athletics as a proxy for the pain of childbirth. And we fall short.
I watched my wife give birth to our son in our living room with no doctors or pain meds. It was the most impressive feat of strength and endurance I’ve ever witnessed.
So where do I get in line?
-Mike
Mike,
You know I actually considered the endurance sports and all of the men that enjoy thrill seeking. Heck…I would love to try bull riding!!! I have read that we seek them out primarily because of an enhanced ability for dopamine reuptake. We enjoy the endorphin that are released and can become “addicted” for lack of a better term.
Now if that translates to a proxy for having a child….I don’t know ….but its definitely a good theory!
I know for myself I would not want to go through almost 24 hours of labor (or more) like some women do. I remember how exhausting it was just watching and being there.
Aaron
P.S. I definitely could see major world changes though if men had kids….yikes!
it’s important to be there for mommies in waiting
and the 2 dutch men thing was amusing LOL
Sam,
I definitely think that some men need reminding about how a woman carries life for 9 months. I wish all men would take that to heart and become the best fathers and husbands they could be but alas I know that it isn’t possible.
The two Dutch men were crazy…lol…I saw that and laughed about it. I watched the full video too and they were seriously “hurting” from their two hours worth of experience.
Aaron
She doesn’t carry life for 9 months at least not by law she doesn’t. Some areas , it is only life when it exits the body.
Hi Aaron
My wife went through almost 3 days of hell when our son was born and then things starting to go wrong toward the end so it became an emergency C-section.
I wouldn’t ever want to go through that but she went through it with so much dignity and hardly complained at all. I was there throughout the proceedings and I was more than a little worried during the course of things. People running around everywhere trying to get the baby out and buzzers and lights flashing in all directions.
Tim,
I am in total agreement. My wife started having contractions almost 2 full weeks before our son was born but not enough for the doctors to speed up the birth of our son. They would just hit her and she would say without much stress “another contraction.” The day of the actual delivery they weren’t even sure they were going to admit her to the hospital (I did say “can’t you all tell she’s having a baby? I can”)
It is just not something I really want to do. I was there to enjoy the moment and support her in anyway possible. If she asked me for something I got it. If she needed something I did it. I knew she was going through labor and it was painful. I am glad to be a man and get to watch from the sidelines (heck…until recently they wouldn’t even let men do that in the hospital.) Hopefully, I have reminded a few dad to be that they are lucky they don’t have to carry a baby for 9 months and to be as supportive as possible.
Aaron Brinker
With regards to the whole law thing. I call BS. Where are all the laws protecting mens rights with regards to children. Over the last 30 years or so, MEN (and women) have passed law after law making it easier to get Dad out of their kids life. IF men would pass all these laws for work etc, how come they haven’t passed any protecting their own interests. The answer: We live in a gynocentric society, everything revolves around what is best for the woman. Health Care, Education, Work Legislation etc. Speaking of work legislation, most countries that have maternity leave that also have paternity leave, the MOM GETS MORE. If these powerful men were so inclined to give themselves all the cookies, why haven’t they given themselves MORE.