Is Payback Inevitable?
Dads Footsteps
Following in my footsteps might be okay!
When I was growing up my father told me that someday I would “get my payback.” I never understood what that statement meant until I had a son. As a stay-at-home dad, I have the unique ability of being allowed to watch my son grow into the man he will become in the distant future. I have heard people say that Xander acts a lot like me (heaven help me if that’s true). I am not so sure I am ready to have payback for all the things I did growing up!
Payback
1. Break a window - Boys will be boys and I was no different from the average boy. I broke two windows before I was 10 (not even in double digits and already causing trouble). One of the windows was from playing ball and the other was from throwing rocks (I carried a lot of rocks in my pockets).
Payback means a broken window in my future!By: Bart Everson
2. Skip class – Skipping school was a right of passage and even though times have changed I still hear stories about kids skipping school. My parents didn’t even know I skipped school until I was grown (hopefully Xan won’t master that technique).
3. Have his heart-broken – It never feels good to have your heart-broken. Most people go through many heart breaks in their life. The first heart-break I experienced was from a girl who decided I wasn’t worth her time anymore (my first heart-break in life). Hopefully, when Xander experiences his first heart-break he will understand that she wasn’t the one for him (just like I now understand and I was lucky enough to marry a wonderful woman instead).
4. Always be right – I didn’t think this was an inherited trait but evidently it is a strong possibility. I have already begun to see my son give me some “payback” in this area. Xander’s new favorite phrase is, “I right…you wrong.” As a boy, I was never wrong. It wasn’t until I got much older and understood that there was no fun in always being right (besides my wife makes sure I know I am not always right)!
5. Get in a fight – When I was younger, I believed it was okay to fight first and talk later (yes, it is a stereotypical, “caveman” type attitude). Luckily,I have matured and age, common sense and reason all have led me to believe that talking is a lot less painful. I hope, I can instill some of these qualities in my son but I know if he does fight (a distinct possibility) I want him to understand the ramifications and the reasoning behind his choice. Until that day comes, it is an area of his life I hope I am not “paid back.“
6. Come home late - Looking back, I can remember how upset my parents were when I didn’t come home one night. I didn’t understand or believe that they might have genuinely been concerned for my safety. I have a feeling, now that I have a son, I will feel differently when he decides to come home late . Payback probably isn’t going to feel very good either.
7. Fight with dad – I am not sure if it’s too much testosterone or just lack of common sense (possibly both) but I did challenge my father once and I learned that the “old man” meant business. I am hoping if I am going to get payback for my youth, we skip this lesson.
Fighting with dad is sometimes fun!
8. Lie to a teacher – We tell little “white” lies all the time but it is when we decide to tell a “tall tale” we get in the most trouble. I will admit this particular lesson taught me not to lie to authority figures. The ramifications of getting caught lying to a teacher meant I got paddled in school.
9. Play with firecrackers – We purchase firecrackers for celebrations (unless you discover another purpose for them). I always had fun playing army and “blowing up” my toy trucks. I will try to remember not to get too upset if Xander does follow in my footsteps and “accidentally” blows a hole in the fence….sigh
10. Getting lost on a summer day with your friends – Some payback is okay. I hope Xander know’s what it’s like to get “lost” with your friends on a summer day and built a tree house in the woods.
Overall, I think there could be a worse fate than having my son follow in my footsteps. I am almost positive when my dad told me I would, “get my payback” he smiled (most of the time).
Raising children is hard and rewarding. Is there anything you hope your child doesn’t experience that you did growing up? Do you think it is inevitable that they are going to follow in our footsteps? Tell me in the comments!!
You can read my post here: 20 Things Every Father Should Know If you like this post you can follow me on my twitter @dadblunders.
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Tags: heart break, life is full of payback, stay-at-home dad
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Awesome post! Being a Dad certainly changes a man’s perspective on EVERYTHING, doesn’t it!
Justin,
It most definitely changes your perspective on things. I never placed much stock in “get my payback” until I had a son. Now, I cringe a lot, at least half the things he does I probably have done (usually followed by some suppressed memory of something I did do in the past that I would rather forget about…lol)
Aaron
I think my son’s already taking on my traits as a boy. He’s definitely always right in his eyes which often leads to some kind of little argument.
I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere and it always was a struggle to maintain friendships because many people that I went to school with lived in the town. I really hope my son has lots of friendships as he grows up.
Tim,
I haven’t decided if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that my son acts like me (I actually wish he would ONLY pick up my good traits)! It seems the older he gets the more right he become and the more wrong I am. In some ways it’s cute but I have a feeling the older he gets this is going to cause a few problems….sigh
Growing up I can’t recall being overly concerned about anything I did. It’s amazing how quickly it changes once your a dad. I know there are many events in my life I HOPE he never experiences. I am almost positive when I talk to my dad about my son he finds a lot of humor in some of the things my son “pulls” on me now…..lol
Growing up I lived in the city (technically). We lived in the farthest neighborhood that was still in the city limits. I actually could leave my backyard and walk out into a field, the woods and about a million other places that a young boy “could: find trouble.
Aaron
Having two sons, it would be interesting if they followed some of the stuff their Daddy did when he was young. I sure hope not!
I know they don’t follow all things though, as my brother was nothing like my dad when he was younger. It really helps in how you are raised. My dad had a hard life, in a broken home. While my brother had a very loving home. I imagine that helped very much.
On another note, I think it’s a boy thing to think they are always right. My brother did it, and just about any boy I knew when I was younger was always “right” at a certain age. haha Going to be interesting to have two boys thinking they know it all. I am having our first little girl soon. Someone to follow me.. Will be interesting.
Sarah,
The one thing I have discovered about having a son and being a dad is the “cringe” factor. Every time my son does something I “cringe” thinking about something I did in my past that was similar. I am always hopeful that the outcomes will always be positive but….I remember a few things I did and I don’t look forward to everything.
I do think it’s funny that he is only 3 and already tells me that he is right and I am wrong. He has a lot to learn about life and someday he will hopefully get married and learn he WON”T always be right….:)
Aaron
haha My oldest is 3 and he says “That’s not right!” As if I am wrong somehow in my direction for him. lol I agree, ONLY 3 and they think they know whats best? Amazing.
I keep hearing that it doesn’t get any better for that either…it only intensifies as they become teenagers. I think they are just in training mode to become great teens when they are little….lol
This is a great post. Xan will certainly have his share of your traits and some of Marvelous Mom’s as well. I love the fact though that he will go through life with his own unique imprint and outlook on life.