Is Payback Inevitable?
Following in my footsteps might be okay!
When I was growing up my father told me that someday I would “get my payback.” I never understood what that statement meant until I had a son. As a stay-at-home dad, I have the unique ability of being allowed to watch my son grow into the man he will become in the distant future. I have heard people say that Xander acts a lot like me (heaven help me if that’s true). I am not so sure I am ready to have payback for all the things I did growing up!
1. Break a window - Boys will be boys and I was no different from the average boy. I broke two windows before I was 10 (not even in double digits and already causing trouble). One of the windows was from playing ball and the other was from throwing rocks (I carried a lot of rocks in my pockets).
2. Skip class – Skipping school was a right of passage and even though times have changed I still hear stories about kids skipping school. My parents didn’t even know I skipped school until I was grown (hopefully Xan won’t master that technique).
3. Have his heart-broken – It never feels good to have your heart-broken. Most people go through many heart breaks in their life. The first heart-break I experienced was from a girl who decided I wasn’t worth her time anymore (my first heart-break in life). Hopefully, when Xander experiences his first heart-break he will understand that she wasn’t the one for him (just like I now understand and I was lucky enough to marry a wonderful woman instead).
4. Always be right – I didn’t think this was an inherited trait but evidently it is a strong possibility. I have already begun to see my son give me some “payback” in this area. Xander’s new favorite phrase is, “I right…you wrong.” As a boy, I was never wrong. It wasn’t until I got much older and understood that there was no fun in always being right (besides my wife makes sure I know I am not always right)!
5. Get in a fight – When I was younger, I believed it was okay to fight first and talk later (yes, it is a stereotypical, “caveman” type attitude). Luckily,I have matured and age, common sense and reason all have led me to believe that talking is a lot less painful. I hope, I can instill some of these qualities in my son but I know if he does fight (a distinct possibility) I want him to understand the ramifications and the reasoning behind his choice. Until that day comes, it is an area of his life I hope I am not “paid back.“
6. Come home late - Looking back, I can remember how upset my parents were when I didn’t come home one night. I didn’t understand or believe that they might have genuinely been concerned for my safety. I have a feeling, now that I have a son, I will feel differently when he decides to come home late . Payback probably isn’t going to feel very good either.
7. Fight with dad – I am not sure if it’s too much testosterone or just lack of common sense (possibly both) but I did challenge my father once and I learned that the “old man” meant business. I am hoping if I am going to get payback for my youth, we skip this lesson.
Fighting with dad is sometimes fun!
8. Lie to a teacher – We tell little “white” lies all the time but it is when we decide to tell a “tall tale” we get in the most trouble. I will admit this particular lesson taught me not to lie to authority figures. The ramifications of getting caught lying to a teacher meant I got paddled in school.
9. Play with firecrackers – We purchase firecrackers for celebrations (unless you discover another purpose for them). I always had fun playing army and “blowing up” my toy trucks. I will try to remember not to get too upset if Xander does follow in my footsteps and “accidentally” blows a hole in the fence….sigh
10. Getting lost on a summer day with your friends – Some payback is okay. I hope Xander know’s what it’s like to get “lost” with your friends on a summer day and built a tree house in the woods.
Overall, I think there could be a worse fate than having my son follow in my footsteps. I am almost positive when my dad told me I would, “get my payback” he smiled (most of the time).
Raising children is hard and rewarding. Is there anything you hope your child doesn’t experience that you did growing up? Do you think it is inevitable that they are going to follow in our footsteps? Tell me in the comments!!
You can read my post here: 20 Things Every Father Should Know If you like this post you can follow me on my twitter @dadblunders.
Tags: heart break
, life is full of payback
, stay-at-home dad