The Real Twas The Night Before Christmas

 

One of the most beloved holiday poems ever written is Twas The Night Before Christmas by Clement Clarke Moore. It has become a tradition in our house to read this poem every Christmas Eve. As I am preparing to read it again this year, I wondered how it might sound if it had been written by parents getting ready for Christmas day as “Santa.”

 

The Real Twas The Night Before Christmas – A Parent’s Perspective

 

Twas The Night Before Christmas and the parents were so tired.
The pets had drank their coffee and now they were all “wired.”
They had so much to do and so little time left.
Dad told the kids the presents were all a victim of theft.

The kids were so restless and wouldn’t give peace.
They wondered if anyone had called the police?
But Mamma was sensible and told dad to stop!
He knew if he didn’t he would sleep in the shop!

It was late in the night when mom almost lost it!
She remembered the turkey. She had forgot to defrost it.
Dad said “Don’t worry! We could eat out!“
But mom gave a look that caused him to doubt.

The family would all be there and expected the best!
They would want a full meal for their stomachs to digest!
The turkey was important and dad had a bright thought.
They could use the blow dryer and not be distraught!

Mom quickly frowned and drew a conclusion
She knew that dad was full of delusion.
She quickly took charge and knew what she must do.
She went online for answers, asking aloud for a break through.

“Now Emirel, now Paula, now Martha and Rachael Ray!
Come on Wolfgang, Gordon, Julia and Bobby Flay!
I’m looking for answers! I need them right now!
My turkey can’t wait. Please show us how!“

Mom found the answer she needed that night.
A quick submersion method and all would be right.
Off to the refrigerator she did run.
She left dad still building toys and alone with the fun.

And then, in the kitchen, you heard the fridge door.
It opened and closed because mom was at war.
As dad worked on toys for Christmas morning.
Mom came back to give him a warning.

She held the turkey tight, clinched in her hands.
She was flustered and thought eating out might be the best plans.
She told dad this had better work!
If not we will have fast food, she said with a smirk!

They both were so tired,they wanted to sleep.
But Christmas morning was coming and they couldn’t count sheep.
Mom went back to the kitchen to work on the meal.
Dad built more toys. They both knew the deal.

Dad grabbed a wrench and built a new bike.
He had to read instructions much more than he liked.
Mom had the turkey in water that was cold.
She now knew thirty minutes per pound and not to be bold.

The night quickly wore and dawn was coming.
All of their thoughts were becoming mind numbing.
The last toy was placed under the tree by dad.
The children would be up soon which might be bad.

The meal won’t be ruined mom said with a look.
No one would say she wasn’t a good cook.
They gave each other a hug and a kiss.
The alarm went off interrupting their bliss.

They smiled at each other and tried not to laugh.
They had both worked through the night just like a staff.
They both said together as the children were stirring,
“Only 365 day’s until another sleepless night would be occurring.“

 

I hope you enjoyed reading my humorous rendition of Twas The Night Before Christmas. Christmas is a time of family, friends and memories. Tell me in the comments your favorite memory of the holidays!

From my family to all of yours “Happy Holidays”

Dadblunders – A.K.A

Aaron Brinker

 

You can read my last post here: Is The Spirit Of The Holidays Gone? If you like this post you can follow me on my facebook fan page, Dadblunders.

 

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• 11 Hilarious Texts Leaked From Santa’s Phone
• “Some Assembly Required” or “There Goes Christmas”
• Should Children Believe In Santa?
• 12 Blogs of Christmas: Tasty Traditions (Second Helpings)

 

Tags: distraught mom, getting ready for christmas, holiday poem