Parenting – Life’s Simple Pleasure

Parenting is one of life’s simple pleasures. Children love us for who we are and nothing more. When a child begins life all they understand is what we tell them, show them or make them feel. Many parents take their children for granted and forget that parenting is a gift. When I was social worker, investigating child abuse, children would amaze me at their sense of obligation and duty towards their parents (even bad ones).

Many children would go to any length to protect what they perceived as “love”. I have heard brother’s and sister’s remind each other not to speak of horrors that they have endured. I have watched children protect mother’s and father’s that can’t care for themselves (let alone a small child). I have felt the pain of a small child break-down and ask forgiveness for telling the truth.

The Legacy of Parenting

Everyone can get mad at the world for various reasons. We can yell, scream and lash out at those we love. I believe that the only true indicator of a person’s self-worth is what we leave behind when we are gone. I am not referring to the material goods that people leave to others. Our legacy is in the memories we share and the people we interact with daily. Our actions have a direct effect on the way others perceive life.

The Love of Parenting

As a father, I want my son to understand, feel and know love. Sometimes, the actions of my three-year-old allow me to know I am doing a good job. Xander has never been a morning child. Often, he is unpleasant to wake-up in the morning. He will hide under the covers, growl and pretend he’s still asleep (he is going to become an excellent teenager)!

The other morning, as I entered his room, I was ready for our normal routine, “Alright Xan, it’s time to get up now.”

Xander was sitting in his bed singing a song. He jumped out of bed and ran towards me. I thought he was going to crash into my legs but stopped right in front of me with his arms open wide. He smiled and said, “Dada, you need a hug. It’s hug day!”

I smiled and leaned down and received, one of the greatest gifting of parenting, a hug.

Xander then told me, “Dada, you need a kiss too! It kiss day!” He then gave me a kiss on the cheek, smiled and said “It love day today!”

I smiled and asked him, “Xan, why do you think it’s hug, kiss and love day?”

Xander, rarely, misses an opportunity to make someone laugh and this was no exception, ”I made love day for today! I love you and I love me!“ Xander wrapped his arms around himself and gave himself a small hug. He then kissed his own arm and said, “I Xander and I love me too!”

As I laughed out loud I told him, “I love you too, Xander.” He answered with a simple, “I know.” and proceeded to give me another hug and kiss. Xander continued to make the rest of the day hug day, kiss day and love day.

Parenting is about enjoying the moments, the good ones and the bad ones. I try hard to not take things for granted and find joy in everything. One of the things I have committed to is teaching my son my four “L’s” of life.

1. Laugh – There are so many things in the world to make us sad. Instead of looking for sorrow, we should look for humor and thing to make us laugh. Laughing at things makes us and our children happier.

2. Love – One of the words I strongly discourage my son from using is hate. I will tell him its alright to dislike something but hate is forever. I believe if someone says they hate something they have already made up their mind and I can’t change their opinion.

3. Learn – Parenting is a constant learning curve. The moment a parent decided they know everything is the moment they will fail. If a parent is willing to make a lifelong commitment to learning we can teach our children to become receptive to new ideas and new concepts.

4. Live – Live each day to the fullest. Don’t live with regrets and mistakes you have made in the past. If we make an effort to live in the present, our life will be richer and we can show our children about inner happiness.

Parenting truly is a simple pleasure of life. Our children are willing to want us, need us and love us. The only thing they want in return is our love.

One of the key things I try to do with my life is never take life for granted. When my son does something wrong I always try to remember that he is still learning about life. My reactions to his behavior are a beginning basis for the way he will live his adult life. In parenting, how do you deal with your child when they make mistakes? Do you stop and think about your actions and the way they affect your child? Have you ever stopped to make a “guide to live by” for your life? If you haven’t do you think it’s something people should do? If you have made one, was it easy to make? Tell me in the comments.

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Tags: abuse children, good job, legacy, material goods, memories, self worth, simple pleasures, social worker, teenager