Finding Value in Dads Money
Learning the value of money isn’t easy!By: Julia Payne
Money Values
Valuing money makes “cents”. Everyone places some type of moral conditions on how highly they regard money. In fact, we plan our whole lives around how important money is, e.g., schools, jobs, marriages, births and divorce. People tend to think of currency as a way to solve all of their problems. As a father, I know how important it is to teach my son the value of a dollar. What I failed to realize is how hard those lessons can become.
Money Hungry
Money has no value until we give it value. Placing value on a cash isn’t necessarily a bad thing unless you’re three-years-old. Now, my son has come up with this uncanny ability to “look” for change everywhere he goes. We were at his cousin’s house recently and Xander came over to show me what he had found.
“Dada, I found treasure!” he said with a smile. I looked at my sons with his hands open wide full of coins, “Xan, you found coins? Where did you find the coins, son?”
Xander’s smile got bigger as he pointed towards a table, “I found them over there!”
“Xan, those coins don’t belong to you. You need to put them back where they were.”
Xander frowned, “No, no, no! They not keep coins safe! I keep coins safe!!” He placed the handful of coins deep in his pocket and said, “See?”
It was hard to argue with the logic of a three-year-old. He probably would keep the coins safe in his pocket.
Dad is Made of Money
Learning the value of currency is an important concept to learn. I just wish it was easier to teach. My son has practiced on learning his name and the real names of me and my wife. The other day he walked up to me and told me, “Dada, I am Xander Ian!”
“Very good Xan! You know what your name is. Now do remember what my name is?” I asked.
Xan looked perplexed and finally said, “Your name is money!”
I chuckled and said, “No, my name is definitely not money! Think hard and tell me what my name is.”
Xander felt shocked that he had the wrong answer. He gave a funny look and said, “Oh…I wrong! You not money. Your name is BIG MONEY!”
I couldn’t help but laugh out. People have called me many names over the years but big money has never been one of them. If Xander thinks I am big money we might have a problem with the concept of a dollar.
Dads Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees
Children are born with no preconceived notions of how the world works. They learn things through watching others and then applying them to life situations.
One of my favorite breakfast treats is cinnamon rolls and I will buy them periodically. The other morning, as I was working on fixing Xander breakfast I asked him, “What would you like for breakfast this morning?”
Xan smiled and licked his lips, “Cinnamon roll….please!”
“We don’t have any cinnamon rolls now. Anything else you would like?”
Xander wasn’t happy with my answer, “I want cinnamon rolls now! You go buy some!”
I knew that Xander was starting to grasp the concept of money and felt it would be easier just to tell him we couldn’t get any now, “Sorry, we can’t go buy any now. I don’t have any money on me.”
Xander frowned and told me how wrong I was, “You have money! You reach into your pocket and get money! You then go buy cinnamon rolls!”
Teaching a young child the value of money isn’t easy. They tend to believe that money is easy to come by and readily available. I know as he gets older he will understand the laws of supply and demand.
What do you mean I have to save money?
Money makes the world go round
Here are a few tips on children and money
1. Say no – Never be afraid to tell your child that you are saving money for a special buy. It helps a child to learn that not everything in life comes instantly.
2. Learn to earn – Make your child earn their weekly allowance and don’t just give it to them. My son is only 3-years-old and I have tried to convey that if he helps me pick up toys and does what he is told he will earn a small allowance each week.
3. Valuing self and others – Giving to others and learning to save is a valuable life lesson to know. I work with my son about the value of savings by getting him to place 10% of the money he earned into his piggy bank. I also feel it is important that he understands it is okay to give to good causes. Since he doesn’t have a huge allowance (just a few dollars a week) one of the best ways I have discovered is matching him on his donations.
Teaching a child about dollars and cents isn’t easy. Parents will go through lots of trials and errors in working with their child. How does money work in your family? Do you have set expectations for your child about earning money? If an allowance is given, does your child earn it or do you just give them a set amount each week? Tell me more in the comments!
Bruce Sallan just wrote a very good article Communication and Money: How to Communicate with your Kids About Money be sure and check it out for some great tips!
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Tags: births, cousin, currency, jobs, moral conditions, uncanny ability, value of a dollar, value of money
Our kids are 19, 16, 14, and 12. We do not give (and have never given) our kids an allowance. They are expected to do their part in household chores because they are members of the household. Then, as long as they are behaving, keeping up with chores, helping out, decent grades, etc., if they need money for something and it’s reasonable, we usually give it to them. Some of their friends get paid to do household chores or receive allowances without even doing any chores at all. My 16 year old daughter was just telling me yesterday that her best friend gets $50 a month for allowance, yet gripes and complains when asked to do the simplest of chores, such as folding laundry. She went on to tell me that when her friend complains, her parents just drop it and let her off the hook, not making her do the chore. I want my kids to know that they have a responsibility to help out around the house, to help contribute because they are members of a family – and not just so they can receive money for doing it. The biggest money obstacle we have with our kids is that sometimes when they want something, they want it “now” – everything for their generation is instant and it’s difficult to try and teach them to wait and save.
Kari,
You are so right about everything is instantaneously anymore. We are able to get everything at the touch of a finger and it makes it so much difficult on parents. It is really hard to teach that instant gratification isn’t necessarily a good thing when kids are bombarded with it constantly. The media plays a huge roll in instant gratification.
The best any parent can do is to work with their children and let them know that sometimes things are better if we earn them.
Aaron
My daughter grew up knowing she had pocket money for the weekend but it was an earned amount based upon jobs done during the preceding week. Since what she got depended upon the work she’d done and there were things she liked doing at the weekend there was rarely a problem with what was set. All jobs were set with the same value so she wouldn’t choose to do better paid ones and leave the worst.
I can understand Kari’s way of doing things but I felt that would take away my daughter’s choice of how she spent her ‘wages’. For instance Kari’s children probably wouldn’t want to ask her for money to buy her a gift…..
Children need to learn the value of money and saving, with Xan’s grasp of cash flow he’s probably heading to be the Director of Fort Knox or maybe with the concept of issuing orders, a President. No lack of cinnamon rolls for breakfast then Daddy.
David,
We are just beginning to learn about allowances and what is expected in our house. I am not opposed to having Xan lose money based on work performance but only time will tell how well that work or if it will work at all. Right now I am working trying to make him understand that not everything in life comes instantly.
It has probably been one of my biggest challenges. Having only one child (that took so long to have) it is easy for me to want to give it to him now. I know it is better in the long run for him to learn patience and the gratification from earning something though.
I do agree! Xan is probably destined to be a fortune 500 CEO and outsource all sorts of jobs……lol
Aaron
This was probably the most enduring lesson I learned. I received an allowance as a child, but when I wanted something big (a horse) I had to save and earn and then help pay for her upkeep, which I did. I worked from the age of 14, until 2010, when I was forced to stop working altogether. Now, it seems I’m looking for ways to ooze back into the workforce, but still keep my SSDI. Heh.
Xan will be the heir to wonderful work habits, Aaron. It really is never too soon to start the money lessons. Austerity is highly underrated and I always feel guilty when I overspend. These values are the values that were once called the Protestant work ethic, which I thought was a laff-and-a-half as we were Catholic. Still, these are wonderful values and Xan has the very best of teachers. By the way, his shades rock! Mary <3
Mary,
Work habits are essential for any child to learn. I know in today’s world it is much harder though because so many things are shown to us that deliver instant gratification. I think it is one of the hardest things for any parent (for anyone for that matter) to overcome!
Aaron
Great post. By the way, you win my website’s “Sunshine Award”…Please check it out and the questions I’ve made for you. Congrats!
http://mylifein24hours.wordpress.com/2012/10/10/awards-sunshine-and-liebster-awardsmylifein24hours-style/
Keith,
Thank you so much!! Now this was a very pleasant surprise!! Looking forward to answering them in a future post!!
Aaron