Full-time Employment and Fatherhood
Full-time employment is being a dad!
Job #1
As a social worker (now stay-at-home dad), I have learned that I do not have the power to change other people’s belief system. I can talk to people about the benefits of fatherhood, reasons to put family first or parenting styles but I can’t change their values. I would be kidding myself if I believed otherwise. I write about parenting and my family because I belief that fatherhood needs good role models. In my opinion, fatherhood is the best EMPLOYED job a man can have.
Winning Isn’t Everything
Recently, I made a simple tweet on twitter.
“Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers” – so much truth in that statement
#quote#god#truth#prayers#gifts#fatherhood
I meant nothing out of the ordinary by that tweet except that I liked the quote and felt it noteworthy. I rarely place quotes on twitter but my son and I were listening to a Garth Brooks song on the radio, “Unanswered Prayers.” As I listened to the words of the song, I thought about the journey in having my son. It took us over 10 years to have a child. One of the lines struck a nerve, “Some of God’s Greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” It reminded me that no matter how badly I might have wanted a child for all those years it was only going to happen when it was the right time (not a second before).
I have learned no matter what your true intent is behind a tweet you can’t always make everyone happy. My one tweet turned into a full-blown confrontation that I refused to play with another tweeter. They asked about my beliefs on god, if I thought it was okay to stone a child and they ended our conversation by telling me that I was nothing but an unemployed father. The nice thing about being a social worker is I have a thick skin. I work very hard to accept everyone for who they are. I even told this other person that it didn’t matter what I believed. Ultimately that wasn’t an acceptable answer.
As I have stated before, I am not an unemployed father. I have full-time employment with my son. My own son hasn’t even been able to fire me from my current job and he has tried to sent me to my room more than once.
Full-time Employment and Fatherhood
1. Unrivaled Competition – Being a father with full-time employment means that I compete with the Mickey Mouse Club. My son loves to watch Mickey Mouse and trying to get his attention while he is in the middle of a show is almost impossible.
2. Opportunities to Advance – Everyone would like opportunities to advance in a job. Being a father gives a man a very good chance to have the greatest promotion! Someday a father could become a grandfather. Sending a grandchild home is always a possibility (to torment their father) when you become a grandfather!
3. Creative Freedom – Your abilities will broaden as a stay-at-home dad. you are able to create in new ways and explore your inner child. You will have many opportunities for creative freedom as a father, e.g., while working with clay, construction paper and glue!
4. Employee Support - When you finally have the perfect job of being a father you will want employee support. Full-time employment gives you the benefit of connecting with other blogging fathers and local support groups.
5. Personal Perks – Few jobs offer personal perks personalized for each employee. Fatherhood always thinks of each father separately when developing personal perks. Recently, I was the lucky recipient of hug day, kiss day and love day (all in the same day)!
A smile makes it all worth it!
Tough job
I am still a licensed social worker. I no longer work so I can take on the toughest challenge of my life, raising a child. Anyone that believes that fatherhood is not full-time employment is delusional. Most jobs give you a set job description and you know the rules of your work environment. Being a parent means your job description changes daily. I am the first responder to accidents, a master chef and personal teacher (and anything else that might come up).
Being a parent or stay-at-home parent is a job with full-time employment. I don’t have an option to take personal vacations or of being disinterested in my son’s life. Fatherhood is the most rewarding job I have ever had. I want people to understand the idea of being a stay-at-home dad.
Has anyone ever attacked you personally on twitter? How would or did you handle a personal attack? Tell me more in the comments about your thoughts on people trying to make it personal against you in social media.
If you like this post follow me on twitter @dadblunders! Please share this post and help me spread the word that being a stay-at-home dad is full-time employment!!
Tags: being a dad, confrontation, garth brooks, good role models, parenting styles, social worker, song on the radio, time employment, tweeter, twitter, unemployed father
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Great post!
LISTEN SOCCER MOM!!!
I have already been confronted today with basically being called a dead beat dad….haven’t i suffered enough humiliation for one day???
Aaron
Once during a chat I apparently ticked off some guy to the point that he unfollowed me. I didn’t realize that until near the end of the discussion when apparently he liked something I said and announced that he was going to follow me again! I wasn’t sure what to say to him about that. It was kinda funny really. I guess people can change their minds pretty quickly. I just said, “Welcome back.”
Well I am not sure exactly what happen to my guy Gina. He had followed me for awhile so its not like he was new but when I went back to check on the comments his account has been suspended by the twitter gods. He evidently has ticked someone off pretty good.
He just didn’t like the fact that I refuse to get into a discussion about certain things on twitter or my blog (and religion is one of them) I would discuss with someone that I have known for a long time outside of those type feeds. I told him they are my personal beliefs with the key word being personal. I just find no value in discussing it on a parenting style blog. I also told him “as a social worker if you are having such doubts I can refer you to a religious and non-religious affiliates so you can decide based on what u learn” (I don’t think he liked that)
On a side note did you read that e-mail I sent u on DMOZ? I was wondering if u did and had any questions or not….
Aaron
Aaron, you are doing the most important job there is! Honestly, try not to let that troll get to you. I’ll bet you he/she has problems with other people too- people like that rarely have issues of anger like that with just one person.
Julie,
I really try not to let things bother me like that. I had several other posts i was working on but I felt I needed to emphasize the importance of fatherhood instead.
When i started this particular post I was going to write the post about ways to disengage with people that are making personal attacks (I have had a lot of practice as a former child abuse investigator). It took a different direction though as I was writing it and I made sure I explained that fatherhood isn’t something taken lightly. (who knows I might still write a post about techniques to disengage at some future point)
The interesting thing about the commenter was his account has been suspended by twitter. When I was writing this post i went back to get some of the tweets and I noticed only my half was readable. I clicked on the person and received a twitter message telling me they had been suspended. They must have been ticking off a lot of people.
I can tell you the only thing I didn’t like was when he told me I wouldn’t answer because I was afraid of losing my job and I told him that wasn’t possible because i was a stay-at-home dad now. He then informed me that I wasn’t social worker anymore then just unemployed. I made one last comment telling him that my degree and my license begged to differ that I was still a social worker and 100% still responsible for turning in things like abuse or I could be fined and sanctioned.
Aaron
I’d say you have one of the world’s hardest jobs but ultimately the most rewarding.Fortunately Xander has devoted parents who’ve worked out the best system for themselves and for him in having you stay home. Unemployed is the last thing I’d suggest you are.
I have never been attacked on Twitter but I certainly have on Facebook. I suppose it’s a risk we take when we expose our thoughts or beliefs on social media. Because I have the Buthidars which is friendship group which ignores religion and concentrates on the person regardless of colour or creed, I was accused of trying to steal Christians away from their church. (untrue). I personally have no faith in religion since I feel more wars have been caused in it’s name than anything but I certainly have no problem with someone else’s beliefs provided they don’t create problems with other’s who are different.
It did give me the advantage of finding a topic to blog about at least David! He was seriously miffed because I refused to get into the discussion with him. I made that choice a long time ago and it has saved meaningful friendships over the years. MY granny always used to say if you want to keep your friends never discuss politics or religion. I have always thought she made a good point.
Aaron
Mary,
You know as well as I do that the world is full of cruelty. The only thing that makes any difference is the way we choose to react towards it. I have just made a choice of not letting it give me a bad day. I have found it serves me better overall.
Aaron
Aaron, I’m glad you have thick skin because I tell you what, I would’ve come unglued on that person. I’ve had people be jerks a few times and I just reply then block them. I don’t need to deal with that crap and neither do you. Any stay at home parent has the hardest, most rewarding job in the world. I was a SAHM for 15 yrs and loved nearly every single moment of it. Enjoy these moments with your son because they disappear far too quickly!
Mimi,
Thank you so much for your strong support!! I truly appreciate it and it means a lot to this stay-at-home dad! I think the thing that surprised me the most was I had followed them (and vice-verse) for awhile so it wasn’t like they were a new follower. I guess in the end though they must have been doing it to several people besides just me. When I went back to check on them for this post and get some direct quotes the twitter gods had suspended their account….someone definitly was watching!!
Aaron
Unbelievable about the troll trying to get you in a debate on Twitter. That is why I generally keep my political and theological views off social media.
Sounds like you got a great career path going. And hey, our kids pick our nursing home
!
Brian,
People rarely surprise me with the things they try to do. I just know for myself it is something I have determined I do not want to discuss on an open forum. In my opinion it doesn’t matter what i do or don’t believe on those subjects. I think everyone should make their own decisions and not be influenced by what I believe.
Upon the rare occasions I make mentions of something close to those subjects it is more about the fact I want people to be treated with equality and respect. I think it’s one of the best things I can leave my son as a gift. I want him to have full knowledge that I will fight and stand-up for others when they aren’t being treated equal.
Aaron