Worry – Making A Better Parent
Don’t let life get you down!
Everyday people worry. They stress over the small things in life; e.g. what they are going to wear to work, what they will make for dinner, or what movie they will go see that night.
Other people might have a major life event they stress about; e.g. how to pay the bills, can I keep my home, or can I afford my medicine.
Everyone worries about something. We tend to lose our self’s in the details. It’s natural, and it can become healthy for people to worry as long as it’s not taken to excess.
Even I get anxious about things. I have a parents worries. The moment we have a child we give our heart and our soul to a greater plan. We have to trust and believe that everything will be okay from day-to-day.
No matter how much I think everything will be okay, I become concerned about my son and his well-being. Nobody told me how much I would worry as a father.
My son didn’t come to my wife and I easily. It took us years and a fertility specialist to have him. Having him took an emotional toll on me that puts my life in a very different perspective.
I understand that having a child is a risk. It is a risk because we never know what is going to happen from one day to the next.
5 things I worry about
1. Myself - As a father, I have days I worry that I am not a good enough parent. I think I need to do more for my son and become a better parent.
2. Spoiled - As a father, I have days that I worry that I do too much for my son, and he could become spoiled and over indulged.
3. Illness - If my son has any sneezes, coughs or fevers they always give me a chill too. I always worry about the colds severity even though I know they are a normal part of growing up.
4. Safety - I have always listened for the bumps in the night, but now I listen with new intensity. I haven’t slept deep one time since the day my son was born and I have doubts I ever will again.
5. Control - The first time you drop your child off at friends, grandparents, school or any place that you can’t see them 100% of the time will be when you worry the absolute most. You will have no control and discover that you never had any control power to control.
Parents are different
Mothers tend to become vocal and will say out loud they worry about their children. Men, on the other hand, generally are silent and don’t acknowledge their fears.
Society has told men that we are not supposed to have fears about our children and should keep them suppressed. I think that when we do not acknowledge our fears we are doing ourselves and our children a disservice. Some stress is healthy and good as long as we are able to manage it.
Managing worry and stress is not hard. It’s our ability to realize that you worry about things and deciding you are not going to let it run your life. I do become anxious about my son, but I don’t let it take over my life. I have chosen to do a few things to help me manage my stress.
4 Ways to manage stress
1. Socialize - Whenever I know I am getting anxious or overly worried I make an effort to have people around me. I might talk about what is bothering me, or I might just be around other people, either way is a win for me, and I generally feel better.
2. Exercise - Swimming is one of the exercises that I like and I can do with ease. If I am feeling stress, I will jump in the pool and do laps. The endorphins released while I am exercising promote a feeling of happiness and well-being.
3. Meditation - Having a three-year-old son meditation is a little harder to do now but in the past I have enjoyed doing meditation. I will sit in the floor in a yoga position totally still and not move, taking deep, shallow breaths. I have found that the ability to control my breathing has helped regulate my emotional state in the past.
4. Journal - I have kept a journal since I was about 15 years old. I enjoy writing, and during my most emotional times I will pick up a pen (I am old fashion that way) and let my emotions flow.
A little worry is okay!
As a father, I know that I am always going to worry some. It’s what I decide to do with that stress and how I choose to use it that makes all the difference in my life.
I can choose to let it consume me, or I can choose to work with it and learn from it. If I want to become a better parent, I need to practice allowing my child to grow-up and realizing I can’t control everything in his life and learn that everything will be okay from day-to-day.
Everyone has worries and everyone stresses. Do you think it’s okay worry about their children openly? Do you worry a lot? How do you deal with your worries? Be sure to tell me in the comments!
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Be sure to check out Andi-Roo at TheWorld4Realz who is writing about a month of controversy in the A to Z +1 August blogging challenge with me! Today is the letter “W” for Worry – Making A Better Parent!
Tags: different perspective
, emotional toll