Toddler Terror – Expert in the Making
Watch out for terror! I know I do!
Before I became a father I looked at children with awe and a sense of wonder. I knew I wanted to become a father. The thoughts of being called dada, daddy and dad was appealing. I felt by being a father it would allow the opportunity to encourage my child and possibly have them follow in my footsteps someday.By being a father it would allow me to give so much of myself and I thought (thinking never fails to get me in trouble) that I would get so much in return. I never considered that my son would become an expert in toddler terror.
When I first became a father life was good and fulfilling. I had a son and I knew everything would always go my way! The one thing I didn’t think about was that my son would learn language. Language is a wonderful thing but it comes with a great responsibility. My responsibility is to always be careful of what I say so it doesn’t get repeated and my sons responsibility is to disagree with everything I say. We have an amazing and cooperative relationship based on toddler terror and fatherhood.
5 Signs of Toddler Terror
1. Negotiations – Toddlers are keen negotiators. They will do everything possible to wear parents down to meet their demands. Demands can vary by a large margin. My own son can demand anything from food to toys. During the negotiations it is possible for toddlers to have severe mood swings (it is possible for you to have them too) They can go from happy to sad to angry in less time than a person can blink.
2. Sleep deprivation – Toddlers have an uncanny sense of knowing when a parent is overly tired. It is during this time that toddler terror is at high risk. They want to see if they can make you “crack” under pressure. Toddlers will use a parent’s sleep deprivation as a way to have success in getting whatever they want.
3. Expert packer – Be careful of “surprises” in small packages from toddler terror. Today, my three 3-year-old son was sitting in the floor playing with his toys. He looked up, smiled and ran over to the corner to hide. I knew he had done something, “Xan, what did you just do?” Xander continued to smile, looked at me and said, “I do nothing!” I knew now this was not true because I could smell what my son had done. “Xander, did you just poop?” Xander showed no fear and yelled loudly, “SURPRISE! I made present for you!”
4. Indifferent to pain – A toddlers pain tolerance is extraordinary. They are constantly testing their threshold for pain. I watch my son bang his head on walls, doors and the floor and he will then have a maniacal laugh. My son not only likes to test his pain tolerance but mine as well. I have taken many hits in the groin area.
5. Motivated – Toddler’s like winning. They will try to win even if it means they actually lose. Xander has started telling me that I am going to pick up his toys. I am not overly appreciative of being told what to do by my 3-year-old son but I understand that toddler terror begins with a need to win! Normally, I have no issue helping my son pick up his toys but circumstances have changed. Now when he tells me I am going to pick everything up I just look at him and say, “Let’s do it together and race! I am going to win!” I have said the magic word “win” and he can’t stand for me to win anything. Xander will pick up all of his toys with record speed (which is fine with me because it’s what I wanted in the first place!)
Toddler Terror Alert System
Before I was father no one told me about toddler terror. No one warned me that my son would try to take things to the extreme. I look back now and wish I had known some of these things. I do know that I love my son and I would still want to become a father. I am just glad I now have the toddler terror alert system!
Toddler terror can actually be very humorous! What is the funniest thing your toddler has ever done when they were trying to control everything? Be sure to tell me in the comments!
Be sure to check out Andi-Roo at TheWorld4Realz who is writing about a month of controversy in the A to Z +1 August blogging challenge with me! Today is the letter “T” for Toddler Terror – Expert in the Making
Tags: fatherhood, negotiations, negotiators, severe mood swings, sleep deprivation
You continually remind me of why I’m glad I left those days behind. I may start off broody but by the time I’ve read the story it’s all magically drifted away and sighs of relief are in place. As a great man once said, “You’re a better man than I Bungit In”.
David,
I am glad I can help remind you of why you left those days behind. I feel I have done my job if I have entertained you and reminded you of the past and of the reason its better to leave the past behind us
Aaron
It does get better with experience. I’m experiencing the same thing too with my #3 and she knows that she can’t get away with me like her brothers used to do.
Kids are just fun! If they think they can get away with something they are certainly going to try….who can blame them either? You know we did the same thing when we were that age!
Aaron
This was awesome, Aaron. It’s too late for me, my son is grown and out of the house, but your post can serve as a warning to future parents!
I also love “Toddler Terror Alert System” you created. Most excellent!
I hope so! I had so much fun writing this post! It has been one of my all time favorites thus far. Especially the Toddler Terror Alert System! I hope it serves a noble purpose for all parents in the future….lol
Aaron
Aaron,
This is just great! A wonderful post and so witty. I really enjoyed the psychology of getting Xander to pick up his toys. I never had children, but I heard enough stories about me from my own mother and father to know they had to come up with some pretty fancy shuffling to try and get me to do what I should do and what they wanted me to do, short of “tearing a lung out.” My mother threatened that once my father said in a fit of frustration, because I was being so stubborn about something.
Anyway, all I can say is even if you had known about the dreaded Toddler Terror, it would not have made one whit of difference. You and Marvelous Mom would have produced Xander, regardless. Yay, world! Mary <3
Mary,
You are correct we would have had Xander no matter what. I love to write about the funny things as much as I do the serious side of life. If I only wrote about the serious things I think it would start to depress me….after all I am pretty darn funny and it would be a shame to hide all of this funny from the world!!!
Aaron
Funny post, Aaron. Let me tell you, it is totally different having daughters (and I have two of them). I seriously did not see most of these directly, but I definitely saw other parents of young sons go through exactly what you describe here.
Brian
My nephew has 3 daughters. We spent a lot of time together since his youngest is the exact same age as Xander. Honestly, at times I think it’s toss up which one causes the most gray hair on me….my 3 year old great niece or my 3 year old son….they work together and try to tag team me….lol
Aaron