Making a Kindhearted, Kissing Dad
Fatherhood is a process that men learn from day to day. Once a man learns he is going to become a father he can take that responsibility and use it to the best of his ability or he can run from it. The man who uses it for the greater good is rewarded with success, love and admiration from his children. The man who runs from their responsibilities will live with regrets later in life. It is the second group of men that hasn’t learned that fatherhood is a good thing and there truly is nothing that will make you more of a man than being a kindhearted, kissing dad!
Big Picture
If a man truly wants to become a part of a child’s life they need to start by looking at the “big picture,” our children and their lives. The next generation of children are now missing positive male role models (see Dads Cultural Shift). Fathers are the first men children will ever know and we can become those positive role models children need. If a man takes the time to take part in a child’s daily life; children gain confidence, sociability skills and better emotional stability.
In today’s society, we measure success by what we do. It is easy for a man to become lost in the world and never realize that the things we do at home are also a measure of our success. It is the things we do for our children that will give us the greatest rewards and ultimately leave us wanting more. Children never start out life seeing a father as a bad thing. It is only through the actions of a father and others that the perception can change. Every child I have even met would rather know a kindhearted, kissing dad than one that is absent.
5 ways to become a kindhearted, kissing dad
1. Never take life for granted - Children grow up quickly. As a father try to remember that our children aren’t little forever and by the time you decide that you are ready for them they might not need you.
2. Remember your own childhood – A good thing to do as a father is look at your own childhood and truly remember what you didn’t like about your childhood and be willing to do it differently. If you can recall your dad saying things to you that hurt your feelings, made your feel dumb or not wanting to have anything to do with him you should try to do the opposite of what you didn’t like with your own child.
3. It’s okay to learn – If you are making mistake with your children and want to correct them, do it! It’s okay to learn new things and new ways to make their childhood and your life better.
4. Be a kindhearted, kissing dad – Society is wrong when it says little boys don’t need kisses from their dads. All children need kisses from their dads as much as we need them from them. If we can show our children from a young age it is acceptable and okay for a dad to give kisses and be kindhearted our children will grow up more loving and acceptable to being loved themselves.
5. Surprises are fun – Try to do fun things unannounced! Show your children your fun. Do something with spontaneity. Bring pizzas home one night and have a family game night unannounced.
As a father, I can tell you, I am tired sometimes. My 3-year-old son doesn’t care or understand this concept all he knows is that he wants his father there for him. I have been lucky enough to take part in his life and watch him grow up into the little boy he is now. I never take being a father for granted and I always try to show him the kindhearted, kissing dad that loves him and listens to him. I know that by my actions someday he will grow up to become a kindhearted, kissing dad too!
Be sure to check out Andi-Roo at TheWorld4Realz who is writing about a month of controversy in the A to Z +1 August blogging challenge with me! Today is the letter “K” for Kindhearted, Kissing Dad
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Tags: fatherhood, gain confidence, love, male role models, measure success
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This is a well written and concise piece, no less than I’d expect from you Aaron. I wonder if I may just add something that many fathers might not think of ?
If you’re sports mad it’s OK to invite your children to watch you or play with you but don’t force them to play sports that you think they should or you could be resented. Not every child places the same importance on sport or at least on the same sport as you. As young as they are let your children make these choices for themselves. Encourage but don’t bully.Boys who don’t play sports are no less boys than those who do, they are just boys with different interests.
Excellent point David! Children should be allowed to be who they need to be and want to be first and foremost! They never need to be a mini version of ourselves. I shutter at the thought of Xan being a miniature me (i know how much trouble I got into and I already have the Father’s Curse to worry about)
Aaron
Mary,
Glad you liked the post. Fatherhood is a privilege and I wish all father’s understood that. Unfortunately they don’t and don’t realize they can cause damage with their actions. It is one of the reasons I promote fatherhood so heavily. I want father’s to know they do matter but it also matters what they do.
Our children are only little for so long and we have to take each and every minute and use it to the fullest. I had a dysfunctional childhood myself and I, like you, have chosen to have more compassion. I want to live my life thinking about the things i can do for my son and in helping others. It is always to meet someone that had survived and tries to do the same.
Aaron