Most people have heard of the mothers curse. It is a simple concept actually. When a mother become exasperated with their child they will say, “I hope when you grow up, you have children that act just like you!” I can say that the mothers curse taught me one thing, “don’t mess around with a mother!” Knowing how powerful the mothers curse is I wondered if there was such thing as a fathers curse.
I have started to believe that a father actually does curse their children too. They are just not as vocal about doing it. As I was growing up I remember thinking that my father knew nothing. I felt that the older I got the less he knew. It wasn’t until I was a grown man I began to understand my father might have been correct about a few things.
We need this one!
Children love independence. It is part of the process of growing up. My three-year-old son now thinks he can do everything himself. I was helping him with some Lego blocks
the other day and he asked me to play with him. I thought I was safe from independence because he wanted me to play. I didn’t know I would be a glorified assistant. I now believe the fathers curse
is working on making me incapable of doing simple tasks.
Xan: Dada, get me red block please? (He was polite)
Me: Okay here you go. (I pick up a red Lego)
Xan: No! No! Not that red block….that one! You wrong! (He grabbed the same style but a different Lego block)
I like to think of myself as a man who can fix things. I actually enjoy having something to work on and consider myself fairly handy. As a stay-at-home dad I don’t just fix things though I am responsible for all injuries that my son might have. The fathers curse has made sure that I am actually not as good as I think I am.
Xan: Dada!! Dada!! I got hurt! I need a band-aid! (Xan had fallen in the floor)
Me: Alright, do you want me to kiss it to make it better? (trying to be thoughtful)
Xan: No! I do it! My kisses make it better not yours! (proceeds to kiss his leg)
Me: Alright do you want me to get a band-aid? (still trying to fix the problem)
Xan: No I made it better! (smiles and walks away)
As a father I like to think I am fairly intelligent. I think though the main problem is I am thinking (see Men Do Stupid Things.
) I am beginning to learn I need to stop thinking. The fathers curse has lowered my intelligence quotient to almost non-existent. There are times lately that my three-year-old son thinks I am evidently stupid. I am starting to believe , as my granny used to say, “He’s as dumb as a fence post.”
Me: Xan, is there anything I can do right? (we were coloring and he wasn’t happy with my color choices)
Xan: No! (I swear he smiled)
Me: Okay….just checking… (shake my head in disbelief)
The fathers curse did this to me!
When I was a child, I always thought that I might be lucky enough to escape becoming stupid as an adult. I never dreamed that my father might have placed a hex on me. The father’s curse is just as powerful as a mother’s curse. The mother’s curse affects your children’s behavior. The fathers curse in some ways might be worse because it affects who you are. I am already starting to lack independence, intelligence and being a handy guy. I am afraid of what else it might have in store for me.
Check these out!
Be sure to check out what my dear friend, Andi-Roo, wrote. A fascinating and comprehensive companion piece to The Father’s Curse at The World 4 Realz. It is an in-depth look at the insidiousness of the Mother’s Curse. I might just have to write a follow-up on this!!!
Be sure to check out Talking About Infertility Isn’t Easy that I wrote for Like A Bump On A Blog!!
Tags: band aids
, fathers curse
, grown man
, lego blocks
, stay-at-home dad