Supporting each other
We need each other.
Normally, I like to blog about funny events in my life. Things that I find humorous or feel that someday my son might want to remember. I have found though, that many things in my life are equally as important to write about. I think they are still relevant and they might have a message that people will find valuable. Writing about various things might even be something that someday my son will read and say. “Thank you dad.”
I have read, in the last week, a lot about mom and dad bloggers. I read, what I consider, one of the best articles I have read in a long time about Mom Blogger Vs. Dad Bloggers. by Bruce Sallan on his website Bruce Sallan. He points out that moms and dads in the blogging world are different. Moms, in general, are much more connected, monetized and make a bigger difference in the world. Dads are just getting to know each other and aren’t as well-connected.
Today though, I read another piece that disheartened me a bit, Goodbye Twitter by Steve Marsh of Father in Training. Steve talks about slipping away quietly in the night from twitter for lack of being heard by others. I haven’t followed Father in Training for that long but I do follow him! I followed him on twitter and his blog (he still has a blog.)
As a father, I want my son to know that I accept him and hear him in all things. I take the time to sit down, play, interact and talk to my son. I understand how important it is wanting others to hear you. We all want to feel accepted. I have read some of the best mom blogs and some of the best dad blogs and the common denominator is that they all care about what they do and share.
I try to take the time to reply to people on their blogs as I read them. If I don’t agree with something, that’s okay. We all have different opinions, thoughts and feelings. I don’t believe that we have to agree on everything. It’s not human nature for us to agree all the time. I still though, make an attempt every evening and often on my phone, reading various blogs and replying.
The dad community is really in its infancy. When I was growing up I was a latch-key kid (a child who returns from school to an empty house because their parents are working.) My own father was rarely home and often took a hands off approach in parenting. Since then, my father has taught me a lot. He told me not to miss out on my son growing up and he wished he hadn’t. If most people think dads shouldn’t be involved they are wrong. Fathers and mothers have to change the social norm. We have to tell people we will support each other and we will be heard for the sake of our children and a better future. We have to take the time to listen and support our differences as much as we do our commonalities.
I can tell you that I am a stay-at-home dad. I don’t mind saying that, either. I believe a lot of men have issues with the title of SAHD. Truthfully, it’s just words. We give them meaning to give them power. If men feel that the world judges them badly because they are involved in their children’s lives, we have a problem. Involvement is a child’s life should not be judgmental. The only way this is going to change is by stating, “I am a father and proud of the involvement with my child!”
Having fun is all about feeling important
I don’t want my son to grow-up in a world that believes that fathers aren’t heard. I don’t want him to be in a world where he feels he isn’t important (after all someday he could be a father.) Fathers are important! I will let my son know just how important a father is by being in his life, telling others that I matter and by supporting every father I can. Fathers need the support of each other. We also need the support from the mothers in the world. If we want our children to inherit a better world we need to show them that we all count. The true winners will be our sons and daughters when we are able to say we all matter.
Tags: dad, fatherhood, listening, twitter
Thanks for the kind mention, DB!
You are more than welcome Bruce! I enjoyed your article and wanted to make mention of it when I saw a fellow dad blogger become discouraged. Just like we talked about the only way to make society become more accepting of stay-at-home dads is to openly talk about it.
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A great post! You are wonderful, kind person, and I know you will be hearing many thanks from your little boy when he grows up.
Thank you so much! I truly hope someday he does appreciate everything. I know that i try to make every moment count with him!
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Fabulous post! The idea that fathers shouldn’t be involved in their children’s lives is harmful to all members of the family, the parents and the children. Our society could ease the burden on mothers by being more accepting of fathers taking an increased role. Kids need their dads.
I agree! Studies have shown children without an active father can have more emotional, social and educational disadvantages. Fathers need to understand the only way they can make difference is through actions. We have to be willing to accept the role of taking care of children and not be pressured by what others think.
I am a stay-at-home dad and proud of it. I love my son and I want the best for him. I know that through my actions I am hopefully teaching him that fathers matter too.
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I agree. And while I’m not sure why he felt he wasn’t being heard, I wonder if he made a snap decision. I hope that we all help show kids that the things we want are not necessarily automatic but some take real work. Of course, if its not worth the work, cutting the losses is a good way to go too.
Janice,
I can’t answer if it was a snap decision or not. I try to read as many blogs as I can and I have been following his.
The social worker in me was just disheartened by it. As a father, I want my son to grow up in a world that has faith in mothers and fathers. My son might be a father someday and i never want him to feel like he doesn’t matter. I believe everyone matters. People often forget that and the only way to change is by remembering why we do matter and sometimes changing ourselves.
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