Supporting each other
We need each other.
Normally, I like to blog about funny events in my life. Things that I find humorous or feel that someday my son might want to remember. I have found though, that many things in my life are equally as important to write about. I think they are still relevant and they might have a message that people will find valuable. Writing about various things might even be something that someday my son will read and say. “Thank you dad.”
I have read, in the last week, a lot about mom and dad bloggers. I read, what I consider, one of the best articles I have read in a long time about Mom Blogger Vs. Dad Bloggers. by Bruce Sallan on his website Bruce Sallan. He points out that moms and dads in the blogging world are different. Moms, in general, are much more connected, monetized and make a bigger difference in the world. Dads are just getting to know each other and aren’t as well-connected.
Today though, I read another piece that disheartened me a bit, Goodbye Twitter by Steve Marsh of Father in Training. Steve talks about slipping away quietly in the night from twitter for lack of being heard by others. I haven’t followed Father in Training for that long but I do follow him! I followed him on twitter and his blog (he still has a blog.)
As a father, I want my son to know that I accept him and hear him in all things. I take the time to sit down, play, interact and talk to my son. I understand how important it is wanting others to hear you. We all want to feel accepted. I have read some of the best mom blogs and some of the best dad blogs and the common denominator is that they all care about what they do and share.
I try to take the time to reply to people on their blogs as I read them. If I don’t agree with something, that’s okay. We all have different opinions, thoughts and feelings. I don’t believe that we have to agree on everything. It’s not human nature for us to agree all the time. I still though, make an attempt every evening and often on my phone, reading various blogs and replying.
The dad community is really in its infancy. When I was growing up I was a latch-key kid (a child who returns from school to an empty house because their parents are working.) My own father was rarely home and often took a hands off approach in parenting. Since then, my father has taught me a lot. He told me not to miss out on my son growing up and he wished he hadn’t. If most people think dads shouldn’t be involved they are wrong. Fathers and mothers have to change the social norm. We have to tell people we will support each other and we will be heard for the sake of our children and a better future. We have to take the time to listen and support our differences as much as we do our commonalities.
I can tell you that I am a stay-at-home dad. I don’t mind saying that, either. I believe a lot of men have issues with the title of SAHD. Truthfully, it’s just words. We give them meaning to give them power. If men feel that the world judges them badly because they are involved in their children’s lives, we have a problem. Involvement is a child’s life should not be judgmental. The only way this is going to change is by stating, “I am a father and proud of the involvement with my child!”
Having fun is all about feeling important
I don’t want my son to grow-up in a world that believes that fathers aren’t heard. I don’t want him to be in a world where he feels he isn’t important (after all someday he could be a father.) Fathers are important! I will let my son know just how important a father is by being in his life, telling others that I matter and by supporting every father I can. Fathers need the support of each other. We also need the support from the mothers in the world. If we want our children to inherit a better world we need to show them that we all count. The true winners will be our sons and daughters when we are able to say we all matter.